Secrets (2)

Granna made us a very fine eggplant dish when she returned from her family. She is one amazing woman. She is old, but still very energetic. Sometimes I try to count the wrinkles in her face and wonder if I could be like her, when I am old. But she says I have my own destiny. My own path. I never know what to reply if she talks like that, so I just nod and say nothing instead.

So now I am here on my own again. Can't help but think of Tommy. He hasn't left since yesterday and although I didn't mention him to Granna, I think she knew something was on my mind. But she didn't ask. So I could just keep it quiet and all to myself.

Eggplant was her game. I found the song in my mother's CD collection and played it a couple of times. If Caro and her friends were here, they'd be all over me for playing that kind of music. It's not really my favourite stuff, but it is a catchy tune. And the lyrics are absurd. Who in their right mind writes a song about an eggplant?? Anyway, it's fun listening to it. But mainly because of the memories attached, perhaps. Tommy was a weird guy. He gave me two keys last year. As if he knew he was going to die or something. It's still one of my best kept secrets. Nobody knows about those keys or that Tommy has given them to me.

I might check out the blue-tagged one soon. Sometimes I walk by the train station where I can see the deposit boxes. Tommy's got a rental one he apparently paid for in advance, so the box is safe for at least a couple of years, or so he told me. And whatever is kept in it, remains safe too. Until I decide to open it. There's nothing scary about it, he said. It's just going to be a huge surprise. And it might help determine my future one day. Wow, that got my mind spinning! But it wasn't any money, Tommy laughed. Hm. Yes. I think I will just have to find out what's in that box pretty soon now.

Eggplant

It won't make a difference if I apologise for not having been around much lately, will it? It's not as if I am obliged to you, or anyone for that matter. But it does bug me some that I feel a little guilty about it. And it has been on my mind too, from time to time. There is no excuse, I know. Life has just been weird, that's all.

My mother decided to move to New York so she can keep an eye on Caro who dropped out of school because she met this guy in New York and, well, she is pregnant and married now. My dad freaked out about it, but my mother said her new son-in-law is really nice and perfect for Caro. He owns a restaurant and guess what? Mom now works for him and Caro is shopping for baby stuff all the time. Yeah, her friends here didn't know what hit them when they heard the news.

It all happened so very fast.

I'm officially to stay with my dad and his wife, but I am in our own house and at Granna's a lot. Caro took some of her old stuff with her and mom just kind of took one suitcase and said I probably wouldn't mind if she left the furniture behind. After all, it wasn't forever, like nothing is whereas my mom is concerned. And no, I don't mind. I love the place and everything in it. I love to have it all to myself now, I like the space. And quiet. I'm not afraid when alone. Because I'm not, not all the time. May sound weird, but I got this idea that Tommy is watching over me. I know he's gone, but I can really feel his presence at times, in the house. Or is my imagination just a little bit too lively? The other day Granna brought me some eggplants, she was going to cook them in my house. But then her phone went and she had to take one of her grandchildren to ballet or something because her daughter couldn't take them. So Granna went and said we'd be having dinner a little later than planned. No problem for me.

She left the eggplants on the kitchen table. I was making myself some herbal tea, when all of a sudden it dawned on me. It was a funny moment, like a shift in time or something, but I could see Tommy there in our kitchen preparing eggplant for dinner. He'd done this once for my mom and me when he was living over the garage.

He and mom were joking about and singing some silly song about cooking eggplant. I only remember some of the words, because of Tommy, he was singing them over and over. They got stuck in my mind like so many other little insignificant things stay with me until they pop up again, I don't know, to paint a memory or so?

Yeah. Eggplant was her game. Tommy was singing "I can't reveal her name but eggplant was her game."

Nightmare on Octavia Street (2)

So a new year has begun. I spent it at Granna's and watched the people outside from behind the window upstairs in the bathroom. Granna was entertaining some of her friends in her music room. Mom and Caro are still in New York. Dad and his family went to celebrate with his wife's relatives in Atlanta. They asked me to come too. But I don't know. At Granna's I'm left alone if I want to. Spent most of the afternoon in our own house, by the way. It was great with all that peace and quiet and silence. But it was spooky too when I switched off all the lights. Made me think of when we lived in San Francisco. I mentioned that, a while ago. The house on Octavia Street?

Even if I don't really believe in ghosts, I still think I met some. Not that I have actually seen them, but I could feel their hair brush in my face, or smell what they had eaten. Do ghosts still eat dinner after they die, I wonder? Anyway, it was a rainy day and mom's friends were off to some cultural event. Mom, Caro and I were alone in the house and for a change, mom had time to spend all day with us. So it started out real promising.

Mom made us breakfast and all was good. Then we heard a noise, as if someone was banging on the wall upstairs. We thought it were the neighbours, working on their house again. So we didn't really pay much attention then. I think it was about an hour later, when Caro and I watched some old movies while mom was doing the dishes. There. That noise. Only louder this time.

Caro made a joke about ghosts and mom kind of freaked out about it. She wasn't quite herself so shortly after the divorce and all, so emotionally she was very uptight. Caro and I just sat there, waiting for mom to check it out. But she didn't. Instead she locked the door of our basement and switched off the television, telling us to be quiet. It was all so very silly.

The noise continued for a few minutes. Like it followed a pattern or something. Waiting for a response, perhaps? Mom still smoked at the time, so she kept on lighting up one cigarette after another. Caro and I have never really been best friends being sisters, but that morning we were so on the same level. We both sensed mom was maybe out of her mind and we instinctively knew we had to be very obedient and quiet. The sooner it would all be over. So we sat next to one another, with our friend Puffy Bear safe in between us.