Secrets (1)

Tommy gave me two keys last year. A blue-tagged key from a deposit box in the city. A golden key that fits the front door of a house somewhere in Florida. He was in one of his strange moods and not very talkative. I loved watching him as he sat on the porch, smoking a cigarette. His eyes always seemed to look beyond the horizon, as if he had places to go. Often I'd expect him to jump up and disappear just like that. But he never did.

It was on an evening when mom was home and life seemed tranquil. My sister Caro had a boyfriend with whom she spent hours chatting and Granna was visiting her grandchildren in Santa Barbara. Mom was tired and listening to music. I can tell in what emotional state she is in depending on the music she plays. This time it was an old record from the Rolling Stones. It has this song on it, 100 Years Ago? I don't know. As if she insists on hurting herself. My dad gave her that album when they just met and they told us that story over and over again, of how they first kissed on '100 Years Ago.' I think my mom still loves my dad. That's why it never worked for her and Tommy. Anyway, I could tell she needed some time alone, so when I said I'd be at Tommy's, she just nodded and blew me a handkiss with a sheepish smile. Sometimes I really wonder who's the parent and who's the child!

We had some sort of instant understanding, Tommy and me, from the moment I met him, when I handed him the keys he'd dropped and when he thanked me for it. There was something that made me pay attention. So when I saw he was still outside the store, I was so happy. As if I had just found a part of my life that was missing.

Back then my first idea was to introduce him to mom. We had a small apartment above the garage for rental purposes, our last tenant had moved out a week ago. If this guy needed a place to stay, he could stay with us! So when he said he was just passing through, I must have showed my disappointment. He asked me why I looked so sad all of a sudden and I just blurted it out. "You seem like a nice guy and I was thinking, maybe you can date my mom? But if you're just passing through, then it's not such a good idea. But if you're looking for a place to stay, we have a nice room with a kitchenette over our garage."

Tommy then looked at me somewhat surprised, followed by a huge smile that made his face turn into one of the most handsome faces I'd ever seen. "You know what?" he said, "why not give this town a chance, you're right. You're a good kid and I like your style. So yeah, show me that room you got because honestly, I could do with some sleep right now. And about dating your mom, don't get your hopes up, I'm not looking for an instant family to take care of. Besides, I think your mom's old enough to make up her own mind about men, don't you agree, kiddo?"

Fair enough. So Tommy came into our lives and stayed over our garage for 6 months. Sometimes he came for dinner at the house, fixed some of the stuff that needed to be fixed and he even found a job at a gas station. Him and mom got along fine, but they never dated. Mom was away for work a lot and with Granna taking care of us when we came from school, she liked the idea of having a man around nearby in the evening hours. Caro also liked Tommy, but she never really saw him the way I did. When he moved out to live in a house closer to the beach, I was devastated for a while. But then I realised I now had a place and someone to go to when I needed to be away from home. And life was good again.